Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
