ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
