dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
