hell yes lets make some ravioli
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
