She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
