At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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