why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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