wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
