The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
