Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
