He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
