just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
