hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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