I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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