My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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