Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
