Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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