You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
