38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you didnt know i had herpes?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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