You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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