Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
