If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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