I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Houston, we have a blender
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
