Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Bring me that man meat
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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