There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
