In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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