I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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