I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
