I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
