Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
