a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
