she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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