Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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