did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
