I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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