Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Enjoy the penises
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
