he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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