i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
