yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
