ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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