I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
