the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We are all done wearing pants today
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
