im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
