yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
