17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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