my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
