dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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