i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
