I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
