Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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