guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
