By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
