omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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