suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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